Feminism

Feminism

This article is based on my own thoughts.  If needed, I will explore it in research,  but I’ve got a tight schedule and not enough patience for that.  This is a blog, not a research page.  It’s for my own thoughts, as wrong as some people might think they are.  They’re based on opinions and personal experiences; doesn’t make it tarnished evidence, but it does make it more subjective.  A goal of any kind can be reached when we speak nicely to each other.

Anyhoo, I’ve been wasting my time looking at Feminists websites.  Why?  Something I saw on facebook.  That place is hell, but that’s not the point.

So I followed it and it was an alleged scammer named Anita something or another who addressed “tropes” in video games.  I am a video gamer as well as a female and though some things have bothered me (save the princess over and over and over; how women’s armor seems to be a metal thong and nipple covers etc), but not to the extent that she did/ does.  But I think that the point is being missed on feminist and anti feminist or whatever.  Here’s the true point:

Women want to fulfill their dreams and they want men to understand that.

But here is my consensus on that . . . I never gave a shit what men or women thought of me.  And I sure as hell wasn’t going to just adopt their beliefs and forgo my own.  I’m okay with having children, but not at the risk of my job and any future marriage material needs to understand that I will NOT be the primary house keeper.  It will be a split thing or I’m just not going to marry you or date you or whatever.

I’m an individualist.  I’m also an “equalist”.  I believe that everyone has their own unique journey.  Feminist, as what I’m beginning to understand, want a few things:

Power

Dominance

ManSlaves.

This is an extreme generalization, BUT it’s becoming more and more prevalent with each article that I read and didn’t save to share, but google it or youtube it or whatever.

By definition, here’s oppression: the exercise of authority or power in a burdensome, cruel, or unjust manner.

Examples (not limited to):

Forced / Arranged Marriages

Forced Servitude

Economic Distress via Looming Overlord

Physical, Emotional, Spiritual Abuse*

None of which these women are required to endure.  I put a little asterisks by the abuse because women can escape their “fate”, but many choose to subject themselves to that trauma.  Yes, in some cases women are taught that they are lesser and that they aren’t able to do what they want.  Whether women realize it or not, this is a choice.  You can leave the abusive person behind, but for some reason they don’t.

Other than that little asterisks guy there, woman do not face arranged marriages or forced servitude.  So other than women who are legitimately victimized by assault or domestic abuse, there is nothing oppressing them here.  I live in America, where everyone can achieve their dreams so long as they work for it.

First world countries are well off.  There are many powerful women who earned their life by their own strengths and abilities.  I doubt they sat around and complained how unfair life is.  No, they decided to stand and fight and achieve.  This, to me, defines true Feminism if it were given any positive light:  A woman who can take care of herself .  Then there’s the argument of equal pay . . . well, to be honest, companies right now are hacking away at people with larger wages, so you’re actually safer getting paid the smaller wage.  Job security.  Now this I am going to link to, because this sounds like a load of bs, BUT working for the company I do and listening to my co-workers, these companies have a fricking system. . .

“I am 52 years old and I have been laid off from my job. I earn more than most employees in my position. Can I sue my employer for employment discrimination for firing me?
By Deskin Law Firm
There is often a correlation between higher pay and age, so the fact that highly paid employees are treated adversely does not itself prove age discrimination. Employers can make business decisions based on other factors - like terminating employees because of seniority or high pay - even though this may affect more people who are older, if there is no intentional age discrimination. But the employer cannot have a hidden agenda and lay off people with more experience or higher salary just for the purpose of laying off older workers. See Slather v. Sather Trucking Corporation (8th Cir. 1996) 78 F3d 415 “
This sounds like my co-worker, who was forced from her job.  And not only that, she had to train the Indian who took her place, who barely spoke English, and was off site/ off shore.  She is close to retirement and made a higher wage.  I can’t really find an article supporting this more, but 3 of my co-workers have experienced this, and our company laid off 40 members of our IT Team, leaving only one person who knew what the bloody hell they were doing.
So maybe somewhat of a round-about point, but I feel safer taking a lower pay because of job security.  Rather have a lower paying job than no job.
Then what other goals would Feminism have?  If they were really interested in helping a cause, they would go to third world countries and help liberate women there.  Or support women in real distress.  Forced Servitude and Arranged Marriages. But I have yet to see any of them bring up this.  Women in other countries have no rights at all.  They are seen as objects and they get no respect. 
There is no excuse for this in America, but women aren’t forced to accept it if it is directed at them – THEY CAN, but like I said, whether or not they realize it, it’s a choice.  Maybe I got lucky, but no man or woman I have ever known has told me that I can’t do this that and whatever else.  Well, the church has, but I never go to Church because I chose to tell them to bugger off.  Am I scorned for it?  Yeah.  Do I give a rattle of a snake’s ass?  Nope.  Because I am free and gifted, but I wasn’t born this way.  I fought to be this way.  I do not impose on any man who has similar dreams.  In fact, I invite them to study groups and we explore different solutions to the same problems and ordeals in our chosen path.  That is enlightenment.  To know that you can speak to a man and have him understand and compliment you. 
This is equality, though.  Not feminism.  I have rarely experienced men criticizing me for being smart or being able to handle my own weight.  In fact, they appreciate it.  Less work for you guys, am I right?  No one wants to baby another person, that’s just ridiculous.   In fact, there’s a guy I know, very old age kind of views.  He thinks women are here to serve him.  Whatever, I don’t talk to him much and he found a sucker who does.  I pity her, but she needs to find her own strength if she wants out of it.  (I think she likes it, though . . . whatever, the sex might be good or something, who knows).  I got this guy to snort his drink out.  I don’t remember what the comment was, but my sarcastic quip gained his appreciation.  He told my boyfriend that “I’m a keeper” for whatever that’s worth.
Here’s the thing I keep seeing over and over again; women think men don’t understand them.  Perhaps it’s true, we’re a little different and a little difficult to understand at times.  But I think women don’t understand men.  Men seek adventure and a good old time.  If you are constantly bitching about being mistreated, they aren’t going to see you in a positive light.  Maybe that is their problem, but it’s also your problem.  You can’t enjoy life like he does and then blame him for things that are way out of proportion.  I grew up with brothers, I sort of think like a boy at times, so maybe that’s why I can level with them.  I’m more than a set of boobs and a pretty face?
I am all about women being powerful beings who can take care of themselves, but I’m not for bashing men.  Ain’t nobody got time for that, and if you do, get a damn job or some sort of hobby.  Focus on improving YOUR life, not control the ideals and morals of others.  Life isn’t fair.  People are jerkbags, but that doesn’t mean EVERYBODY is a jerkbag.  Instead, PROVE yourself to these people or tell them to fuck off.  It’s actually pretty much that simple.
We are so far as a society that women can hold jobs.  It might still be unfair, but skill will keep that job for you.  If you’re let go, I’m pretty sure it has nothing to do with genitalia.  It has everything to do with skill – and maybe greedy corporations.
When you blame everyone else for your shortcomings, you become a victim of your own mind.  Everyone else treats you so unfairly, but you’re not saving yourself when you do this.  “This Princess Saves Herself” has been a motto of mine for a long time.  If something knocks you down, you climb right back up and prove to yourself that you’re better than that.  It’s not about proving it to anyone else (though that feeling is satisfactory, believe me) it’s about proving your worth to you . . .
So I don’t see why Feminism has to be as extreme as it is.  Women are treated unfairly?  In some cases, yes we are.  I’ve been hooted at when I was 14 by men in a truck.  How’s that for creepy?  I put my hand in my pocket and pulled out my mace.  “This Princess Saves Herself.”  Not only that, but that’s sexual harassment of a child.  They could have gotten so busted for that.  
The argument of men can approach women if they want to is true, but bear in mind he does not have the right to touch me.  If he does, I have the right to defend myself.  I am sworn to one person in the entire universe.  To touch me is to dishonor him as well, that’s the way I see it.  I’m a loyal creature and I would never do anything to hurt my beloved.
And maybe that’s why I don’t agree with Feminists because I see something much darker.  They want manslaves and emasculated men.  I met my boyfriend and fell for him as he is; not some molded fake that serves me.  This is turning the tides of an oppression that no longer exists on a national level.  I think of what some of these women are doing and saying, and I think about my brothers and my boyfriend.  If a bitch did this to them, I’d cut her down.
More than anything I just want inner peace and I don’t know why I torture myself.  Maybe because I’m a writer and I feel obligated to try and help ease a tension that just feeds off itself.  I don’t care who you are: you treat me with respect, I’ll treat you with the same.  If you act like an asshole twit, I’ll tell you to fuck off and, if persistence occurs, I’ll punch you in the gut.  I’m really not that violent, but sometimes I can be I guess.
If money was raised to support women in abusive households, where she believes that she has no escape, that would be one thing.  But it’s to push an agenda, and that is so far from being right.  And has any “Feminist” ever stop to think that a woman legitimately wants to stay home and be a mother?  Some women get a kick out of that, you know . . . It’s what their called to do.  Just like I’m called to do volunteer work at a kitty shelter.  I love cats like some women love babies.  This isn’t wrong, this is just their path and they’re free to choose it.
It’s about choice, but don’t take away from men.  I keep mine happy and he tends to, you know, want to stick around.  And I make him happy because he fills me with a hot, loving, warm feeling in my tummy.  It’s a mutual thing.  I never believed in true love, but I think I hit the jackpot here.
Not that I need him, but I’m keeping him.  He’s mine, back off.  He reciprocates the notion.  Our relationship works for two main reasons: communication and trust.  I think it also helps that I * know * when he’s trying to get a rise out of me, hehee. 
But the real point here is to surround yourself with people who understand you.  You’ll meet that asshole, they always exist, but you can’t let it stop you from becoming the best person you can possible be.  I learned this lesson the hard way – harboring hatred for years.  I used to be antisocial (still am, I despise people at times) but I’ve learned to somewhat let go of it.  In fact, I’ve learned from it, period.  I know what I don’t want to be and I know what I can be.  That’s really empowering.
If you fall, get your ass back up and try again.  Only when you let it defeat you does it actually win.  When I was growing up I noticed social dogmas existed.  Men worked, came home to the wife who tended the house all day.  She greeted him nicely and raised the children.  Then the man would go out again, leaving the woman to do the dishes etc.  I decided for myself that this was not the life I wanted.  I read books and studied things and I realized that I really thought computer design was fascinating.  I learned much from my father and the rest from school.  I don’t fit the bill of a “stereotypical woman” but no one actively tried holding me to that, either.
When I explained this to my boyfriend, he accepted it and supports me.  He actually keeps me on track when I’m being lazy.  But he’s a musician and dropped out of college to work a job as a dishwasher for the Barrel.  He now works at a hospital for trash pick-up, but he is thankful for the work because this day you need papers saying you’re good enough.
But the drive never was there for him to complete school, and other than music, he could not find a profession that suited him.  I’m trying to get him to do IT / Software Development work with me, but he isn’t convinced yet.  I have no qualms with our current situations, but I made sure he didn’t feel inept because of it.  After all, with social status and what have you, that makes him a weak man.  I disagree whole heartedly, I know him for who he is and what he is capable of, not because he chose to sacrifice his soul for a job he would hate . . .
Does that mean I want him to give up his hospital job?  No, but in this instance, I work an IT position and am 2 semesters away from getting an Associates Degree.  I’m almost 21, working as a Computer Operator.  I’ve set my cornerstone for a future.  I already have connections, 4 months of credible experience, and almost an education to back it all up.  I’m on my way . . . But I figured out what I wanted quicker and had the drive to do it.  No one told me I couldn’t do this.  No one told me I had to do anything, I just kind of figured it out on my own.
But this is the power that I have.  I haven’t met much opposition and if I failed, I knew it was because of my own lack of experience.  I hit adulthood, technically, 3 years ago.  I’ve done a lot with that time.
Started school immediately, got a part time job as a sales associate, and my daddy let me know of this current job a year later.  I’m in damn good shape right about now.  I’ve had support and will to do what my heart says it wants.
But it’s about choice, it always has been.  Women who are calling themselves Feminists are either searching for this freedom of choice or are looking to enslave men.  The latter I’m against.  Humans have the right to mold their own destinies; if two people have completely different views, then you guys obviously aren’t meant to be.  If you’re a woman and you find a man who wants you to stay home and do the cooking, cleaning, and laundry and you disagree with it?  You have two choices: reason with him or go your separate ways.  If that is an issue now, it is not going away.  He either needs to respect your thoughts or you need to break away from him.  Love is about compromise, after all.  If you can’t come up with a consensus, then you won’t be able to communicate about other big issues, either.
And men do need to understand women as well.  There’s a big thing right now where everyone uses gender identity as an excuse.  I’m a man so I don’t know how she thinks or what she says is valuable.  Well, no.  pay attention . . . there’s a good chance she has a similar thought, just worded or shown differently.  My boyfriend and I have a way of stepping outside ourselves and take a look from a different angle.  Half the stupid shit we fight about, we were arguing the same battle.  We were saying the exact same thing.  We’ve learned to try and avoid these situations. A lot of it is simple miscommunication or misunderstanding.
But let’s be honest here for a minute.  Sometimes the guy just doesn’t give a damn, sweetheart.  Men don’t sit and vex over every problem.  I would like to think that if they came across and issue, they would lend a hand, but they’re not going to think about doing something.  If something makes them passionate, they do it.  They don’t brood over it.  And most of the men I’ve come across have given me their blessing and wish the best for me.  I’m not sure what exactly happened to these women, but I’m guessing a man screwed them over or something.  Even then, I would blame the character and integrity, not the gender.
My beloved had a woman cheat on him because she “wanted both guys”.  If I ever meet her, I’m slicing her throat open because that hurt him.  Good thing she did because he is mine now.  Mine.  No one else can have.  My boyfriend is amazing, though, because he didn’t blame women for her actions, though he admitted to ‘taking a chance of getting hurt again’.  He’s got a cute dimple, too.  I’m very happy with who I found.  He’s a man worth fighting for, that’s for sure.  But he doesn’t care what I do, so long as I don’t hurt him.  Like I said, I think cheating on someone is the worst possible thing anyone could ever do.  It’s the only way to break up Sims fast, though, so . . . haha, just kidding.
Well, I think this concludes my rant.
What I think about Feminism, in short, is this: Empower yourself, baby, but don’t chop off a man’s thingamagong to do it.  He’s got every right in the world to follow his passions and he needs to back off of you and let you do the same.  If you want to show some real improvement and bring a positive light to your name, fight for a cause that rescues real women in oppressive settings.  Yes, the woman is forced to marry a man, but I don’t think the man chose her, either, now did he?